The M+G+R Foundation

A Personal Warning

A Terrifying Experience


This is an experience which miguel de Portugal lived through sometime between mid 1990 and the Spring of 1991.

On August 21, 2000 he committed this experience to writing for the first time and published it.

Divine Justice manifested itself throughout the Passion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ because He was paying for our sins.

It is time that we remind others of this gift that, only through our faith - which in turns moves us to strive to live as He called us to - can be claimed..


The experience took place some time between mid 1990 and the Spring of 1991 - that is, before I had left the world of comfort I lived in on October 13, 1991, to serve Him, as He had called me to.

I was driving down to Port Isabel, Texas, to visit with and minister to some friends and families I met on prior trips. The road I knew well and, as usual, I utilized the driving time to offer Rosaries and other prayers as well as to listen to inspirational music.

Somewhere between Corpus Christi and Port Isabel, on a two lane road while driving at the usual 70 mph [ 110+ kph], I was happily listening to and singing along to a song of which I do not remember the name now but had to do with seeing a miracle in the sky or a cross on the sky or a combination of both (but certainly not about the crucifixion itself). It was a very uplifting song.

All of a sudden, like catapulted into another dimension, all that I am able to see in front of me is Jesus Christ crucified, full size and real. His body looked like it looked 2000 years ago on the cross - not like a seminude athlete/fashion model as most statues make Him look like. He was all bloodied and obviously in pain. I could clearly see the gashes on His flesh as if I were standing just three or four feet from Him.

(In retrospect - I thought I really was. However, in reality, I was sitting behind the steering wheel of a car driving at 70 mph, or so I thought.)

Then, horror of horrors - I felt, I knew! in my soul that my sins were responsible for such torments. I felt, I knew! that He had endured that just for me (like just for each one of us individually, not collectively) to give me the opportunity of an Eternal Life - a life of blissful joy with Him.

I have never experienced suffering like I was experiencing then. I felt that even death was not good enough to pay for this suffering I had caused (was causing) Him. I deserved worse. Words could never describe such horrifying feeling.

I was so overcome that I could not even cry. After a while I was finally able to break into sobs; first softly, then in full force. After sobbing for a while, finally I was able to cry. A torrent of tears flowed and flowed for some time.

The sorrow was such as I have never felt before.

The pain eased, then there was the consolation of His Mercy and finally the normal scene of a ribbon of asphalt speeding under my car still at 70 mph.

The best I could estimate the time elapsed from the road guideposts,  the whole experience must have taken about 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes sitting behind a steering wheel of a car traveling at 70 mph while facing the bloody reality of Our Lord crucified.

My dear ones, somehow He gave me a glimpse of the price He paid for my redemption. A most humbling experience [and terrifying if it were not for His Mercy].

I wish all could experience His Love for each one of us without having to go through a similar experience, however, maybe it is living through such an experience that we will truly understand.


The above described experience took place at least five years after my conversion. I was living in a state of Grace, partaking of the merits of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass daily and the Sacrament of Reconciliation once per month or more often.

I do not think my physical body would have been able to endure this experience if the state of my soul had been what it was before my conversion in 1985. Without a doubt, I would have had heart failure.

: Two months after composing this text I walked into the computer room of a cooperator of The M+G+R Foundation. Posted on the wall, above one of the computers, was a photograph of a full size inanimate crucifix. I was transfixed. That was the first time that I have seen a crucifix that looked very close to what I saw in reality. You may access a scanned image of that photograph by Clicking Here. Beware! It may be emotionally distressing.

First published in this Domain on August 21, 2000.

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